Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World

Kenn Nesbitt; Illustrations by Ethan Long

While you thought Kenn Nesbitt was innocently penning more kid-friendly poetry, he was actually hunched down in his underground lair, developing a secret plan for enterprising kids to take over the world. Cue maniacal laughter. His evil plan is conveniently broken down in just ten(ish) easy steps. Earnestly follow Kenn's directions, and you will find yourself rich beyond belief, leading a band of faithful minions, overseeing the world. Or just laughing in your chair. Definitely one of those two things.

Some of the steps are easier than others. There's a reason that Making a Name for Yourself, is step 2. If you can't figure out that Baroness von Crusher will demand more respect than Princess Sparkle Pony, you have not a prayer of Defeating Secret Agents (step 9). But don't worry! Step 1 is Becoming a Genius Overnight, so even if you are not the sharpest spoon in the drawer, it takes almost no effort at all to boost up to genius level. And what does that have to do with fitting a whole pickle in your nose or how much of your brain is made from fish fat? Exactly.

I don't know of a better way to describe this book except to say it imparts super duper valuable lessons that you cannot live another minute without learning. Haven't you always wondered how to make mutant monsters? Wouldn't it be incredibly handy to learn how to stop time? This is the key to learning how to string together the perfect evil catchphrase, letting loose with the perfect diabolical laugh, and creating your very own evil theme song. If you are a person who enjoys sarcasm, wit, and odd ideas - congratulations, you just hit the jackpot. This is the book, people!

Review copy provided by Sourcebooks.

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