Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Book That Eats People

Tricycle Press
John Perry; Illustrations by Mark Fearing

This is a very different sort of book. A mean, nasty, no-good people eating type. Honest. This book eats humans, and is not particular about its diet. It likes children, librarians and security guards - people of all sizes and nationality.

You will need to be very cautious with this book. Oh, you'll want to read it. You be intrigued once you see those slanty eyes and that crooked mouth, not to mention the police tape of a title! And gosh, this book surely wouldn't eat YOU, would it? Well, it might. But you can move pretty fast if you need to, right? So go ahead, ignore the beware stamp and crack open that shiny red cover.

First of all, this book is always hungry. If books had tummies, this one would be growling. Sammy Ruskin from Arkansas made the fatal error of touching this book with fresh peanut butter on his fingers. He's a goner. And it attacked sweet Victoria Glassford, the girl with eyes as round as marbles, whose hair gleamed like butter. If this book could attack a doll like that, you better believe it would eat YOU right up!

This is a bad book with teeth and claws, always hungry for the human touch. Worst of all, it has a way of being engaging and clever that makes humans hungry for it! Best be extra careful and steer clear of this fabulous read. Don't be swayed by the bright illustrations and funny text. Be safe and pick up a boring book about fairies and bunnies instead, not this tantalizing, toothed tale.

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